I know! It's been ages and ages, since I've updated you on my heart and my life. A majority of my energies have been directed towards my new small company, “Together Good Co.” – I cannot wait to share more with you. It’s kind of a big deal to my heart.
God’s placed some new dreams in me, and I’m definitely here for the new adventure!
For those that have been breathing hope and support over me via comments or follows on Instagram or Facebook, I’m sending you BIG KISSES right now! Thank you for dreaming with me!
And yes, I have a crush again. And no he doesn’t live anywhere near me *all the eye rolls* -- But yes, I’m still country line dancing (Hashtag Helps to take the edge off the aggression. Haha. But for realssss) and I’m happily single until someone I love tries to kiss me on the mouth—on purpose.
But something happened this week.
Actually something happened in our time a part – Where God whispered to my soul:
“It’s not if…It’s When…”
And I’ve been resting in that since the end of March.
I spend time praying for you, for me----for us. Especially those of us who are in the 30+ age range. For those that have been on a faith journey and single with purpose, albeit confusing and painful at times---I’m realizing more and more how beautiful and purposeful it all can be.
I’m also learning that God wastes no pain. No tears are wasted on His chest.
I can’t remember when Vanessa and I actually met. But it was years ago through mutual friends in Redding, CA.
I’ve been tracking with her and praying for her ever since--even though I don’t think we’ve actually seen each other in person, since we’ve met.
This week, as Prince Harry marries the American actress, Meghan Markle, it all feels very significant and somehow personal to me.
(And yes, I’ll be watching the royal wedding live. Congrats to my beautiful friend, Ayanna, who will be singing in the choir at the wedding!)
As I began to feel anticipation and excitement about this week, and encouragement in the way of romance, I miraculously stumbled across Vanessa’s latest status update – (And I say miraculously, because ya’ll know that these Facebook Algorithms are full of sabotage, and I barely get updates from people that are outside of the last 5 people that spoke to me online…but I digress...)
And then I read her update.
And then I cried.
And then I CRIED.
And then I cried some more.
And then I asked her if I could share this with you.
And she said yes.
So here we are.
I’ll leave a link to Vanessa’s website at the end of her guest post, if you’d like to see more of who she is. (P.S.: She is a total boss babe).
This guest post will be part one.
And she’s agreed to expand on this again later this year.
So yes, there will be a part TWO.
I honestly think that this is one of thee most important blog posts I’ve ever had on my website, and I DIDN’T EVEN WRITE IT. Ha!
If you’re single and over 30 – First of all – YOU LOOK GOOD!
As I like to say, “The Lord is preserving your sexy…”
And lastly, let me know in the comments or reply back to this email (I SEE you my beloved blog subscribers!) with one “highlight sentence” that either encouraged you, rocked your world, or blessed you.
And of course I’ll share with you my highlights in the comments.
Here’s my little wisdom nugget:
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” – Henry Ford
And without further ado, enjoy Vanessa Chandler’s, “Love Changes Things…”
If you would have asked me the goals and vision for my life five years ago at 34 years of age, I would have said, “Finish my first novel, create a successful company, travel, become a better journalist, be a positive catalyst for social justice through my writing ... and perhaps someday balance marriage and children IF I can still pursue my dreams and the man does not expect me to change who I am.”
What a naive view.
Love does change things. What was I so afraid of? I did not understand that love fulfills ...
The imaginings of childhood often fade as we get older. People inform us—from their own hurt—that we must not believe too much, hope too much. That fairy tales aren’t true and we need to be realistic about expectations. I think life does that all on its own. It doesn’t need our help to teach others about disappointment or pain.
Where love was lost in childhood, where adulthood failed to meet expectations, where emotional heartache left a gaping chasm of need—love fulfills. And it goes a step beyond. A driving force in my life has been a need to prove that “I can and I will,” and to be significant. While I do believe that there is a God-given, healthy desire for significance, there is also a fine line between sanctified creativity and narcissism. It’s so easy for Creatives like me to become consumed with gaining attention or a platform under the guise of religious “spirituality” or for the good of all people.
But love fulfills ... and strangely I’ve found that being emotionally fulfilled by romantic love has shifted my focus and killed my unhealthy drive to be known by the world and accomplished. I’ve slowly begun realize these past years that relationships are the most important thing to me. The glitter and temptation of filling your heart with other things fades away.
I did not understand that love heals ...
So many men have come and gone—friendships, crushes, dating. A bunch of “almosts,” “not quites,” “if only’s,” “perhaps,” and “Was I wrong to let him go’s?”
A few of these experiences both in romantic and other forms of relationship, left me broken-hearted and afraid to risk my heart. But love heals ... Love is confident and it allows you to rest in its protective cradle of confidence. It surpasses all, sweeping past relationships to the side like a tidal wave of pure, liquid goodness.
One thing I wish I had understood earlier in life is that this love has always been available to me through Jesus, but it took a tangible representation of His character, love, patience, kindness, long-suffering and goodness on earth for me to more fully grasp what love is. I know this is just the beginning of that understanding, and it’s breathtakingly beautiful.
By now you are wondering who this “love of mine” is. But first I must give you context ...
I had an experience one night of a full moon on the coast of Kenya when I was 17. I felt that God had created a man who would match me perfectly, yet I knew I’d have to wait for him. I never imagined that “waiting” meant 22 years and a full life of experience in joy and realized dreams, and also pain and heartache.
With perfect timing an “and suddenly” came into my life unexpectedly in the form of an incredible man a little less than three months ago. Friends had arranged a party with the secret idea that we should meet ... I had zero expectation. He was just some “hot 36-year old German guy” who was visiting for a few months.
His name is Florian, which means “flowering.” I find that precisely accurate for how I feel—he is my flowering. It’s difficult to explain the many things I have grown to love about him, but he is incredibly intuitive about people, life situations and business. He enjoys going on adventures and being athletic like I do. His character is such that he’ll buy an album so music artists receive their dues, but then use Spotify. He seeks to honor, bless and spoil me daily by bringing me flowers, surprising me with an adventure, homemade lunch, dinner or dessert, asking how he can pray for me and support me, and things like deciding to take me to Rome this summer because I love art and history. (And yes, I’ll be in Germany for part of the summer!) As an engineer he likes to work with his hands and completely renovated his 100 year old historic home in Germany this past year.
No one owns your story. Only you do. And by owning it, you take pride in it despite the sorrow that may have been along its path. This past year I processed whether or not I would be single the rest of my life, and whether I would ever be able to have children. I came to the conclusion that despite the disappointment, I would choose to be happy, never imagining that I would meet Florian just a few weeks later.
To the women who are still waiting ... It’s never too late. Don’t settle for someone that is not perfect for you or whom you doubt. Don’t be afraid to let someone go if you’re not sure, or because you feel like you’re getting older. God will restore all that has been lost in your past, and give you more than you’ve prayed, ached and cried out for over the years.
I have begun a new and glorious chapter in the pages of life that is far superior than I had imagined. Each and every day with Florian has left me in wonder as I learn more and more about him, and fall more in love with him. I often cry out of thankfulness for who he is and that he loves me too ... It’s worth the wait. It’s so much better than you can imagine! As a 39 year old woman, I am witness to this.
To learn more about Vanessa Chandler: http://redarrowmedia.com/team