In this age of myspace "headlines", I find myself thinking...has everyone always been this deep...even in L.A.? I mean really. I've been seeing some pretty amazing quotes from the stuff poets and literary legends are made of. Mind you, some of these quotes are from some magical literary writers of the past, but other headlines seem to spawn from the truth and emotion of someone's current condition.
Myspace seems to be a great gauge in where someone "is" in life--or maybe, where they'd rather be.
I've realized that I internalize anger and disappointment where it burns right beneath my skin. Not enough to kill me. But enough to let me know it's there. Have you been in an uncomfortable situation where you knew (or believed you knew) that there was nothing you could do to change it?
And since I'm on the topic of relationships...
I'm realizing more and more who I am.
It's really sorta profound. Because on the same note, I'm realizing who I am not.
I think I'm a propeller. I function best where I see a stagnant situation/person in which movement needs to occur. Where there is no sign of movement, progress, maturation, I feel as if I am useless or my propeller purpose must move on.
Have you ever gotten to the point where others think you and a friend are best friends because you hang out and "do stuff". "Doing stuff" together no matter how frequently cannot substitute for true heart to heart connection. Nonetheless, you appreciate the company and try to lead your life and play the part.
But what do you do when it's time to let go. Freely.
The propeller in me wants to stay and try and cheerlead one last time. But my heart and mind say otherwise. When do you know to walk away.
When is it time to truly be honest. Freely.
There was never that unique heart to heart connection. I don't think that was the purpose of this friendship. But I am grateful. I am grateful to have learned and lived and loved and learned again.
But contrary to popular belief, we are not the best of friends. Friends, yes. Most definitely. Your loyalty has amazed me. Just not the best of friends.
My lesson learned tonight. Let go in love and forgiveness. Always.