Say What You Mean

     It's been brought to my attention on more than one occasion that people rarely ever say what they truly mean.

     And when people do decide to tell the truth, it's wrapped in a weight of anger, because they've waited so long to express the true intentions of their heart. Saying what you mean, doesn't mean at the expense of hurting people, but at the expense of truly being understood. Motive.

     I'm a bit tired of the passive-aggressive bull. It distorts meaning and true connection with people. And yes, I'm definitely guilty of being passive-aggressive on more than one occasion. But it's not something I subscribe to frequently. At least, I'd like to believe so.

     I was raised in a house hold with two amazing parents, one of whom has the honesty of a true New Yorker, because she is one. That reality has penetrated my conversation style, that upbringing has given me the ability to speak freely when it comes to matters of the heart and to ask with honesty, difficult questions.

     For those that are used to hearing the phrase "Passive-Aggressive", but only hear it as white noise in the background. Let me refresh the definition for you:

1. Hiding hostility by seeming to be nice to someone you dislike and being unable to express honesty with that person.

2. Telling people what they want to hear, even if you don't believe in what you're saying.

3. You are angry, but afraid to show your anger, so you quietly take revenge by doing the opposite.

4. Out of touch with your inner feelings; and the only way to know how you feel about something is to observe your behavior, not to trust your words.

5. You avoid conflict at all cost by giving in to others, then procrastinate and never do what you agreed to do.

Definition Credit:

     Simply put, being passive-aggressive basically means you're a classy liar.

     We may not always know the true motives of why an individual chooses to talk to us, to spend time with us, to listen to us, but we can be responsible and brave in regards to our own actions.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Remember to check the motives of your heart before you courageously say what you mean.