|Photo Credit: Daniella Hovsepian|
This person clearly thought/thinks that I am a certified jerk. And I felt helpless in a way, because I was not allowed to defend myself or share my side of certain events. And to know, that there was nothing that I could do to convince this person of my good intentions or to change their mind about their perception of me, drove me insane.
The depths of my people-pleasing nature were found out. And I had to trust God in a new way. I had to trust that He would defend my character at the end of the day.
It's one thing to have "Jerky" moments, of which I do. I'm not pretending that I don't. But it's another thing to have someone define you as a complete jerk and write you off.
I mean, was that truth of who I was--an unforgivable jerk?
As I was sharing the weight of these things with a friend of mine, and examining my own worth and identity, she gently said to me, like a healing balm..."But we know the truth."
The truth of your character will always find it's way to the light.