Mixed Signals = No Signal


     Okay. So apparently, I don't always follow my own advice and my own words of wisdom. It's one thing to know the right thing to do or say. It's a whole notha ballgame to actually do those things.

     So if you've been following my blog at all this year, you may have picked up on my coded language as I've been describing my woes and angst with the opposite sex. To give you a bit more context to my monologue, it all had to do with battling it out with a few guy friends of mine.

     The battle rested on the grounds of mixed signals. That fact remained, that I wasn't quite sure if they were pursuing me romantically or simply just trying to be extra friendly, whatever that means. And yes,  my heart was open to the possibility of romance with these particular fellas, unbeknownst to them.

     In the past few years, I've let go of a majority of my male friendships, because I was intentionally trying to make emotional space for my boo to come on the scene. But then, before I knew it, I was once again in the mix of some amazing guy friends. And that's when things began to get a little blurry.

     I cannot tell you how many times, I've given advice to a conflicted lady friend who couldn't read the actions of her trusted guy friend. To put it simply, I would just tell them: "When a guy is wanting and ready to pursue you, he will let you know." So until then, mixed signals, no matter how strong or possibly romantic they may seem, equals no signal for romance. Plus, you want a man that's clear and intentional anyway. A much more positive indication of things to come.

     Now, if you're stuck with one of those guy friends that has horrible boundaries and loves to cuddle you, but not date you. You need to woman up and create healthy boundaries in that friendship that should have been there in the first place. Or else, your heart will be trampled.

     So what have I re-learned thus far, in 2011? Mixed signals = no signals. And furthermore, I should follow my own advice.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Don't just talk the talk. Walk the talk.