Photo Credit: Jon Acuff
After a fun filled weekend of discovery, I came home and plopped down on my bed and tried to begin to process all the emotions that filled my heart after re-connecting with my alumni theatre group. Over the course of the weekend, I screamed, I hollered, I hugged the mess out of these people--which are by the way, some of my favorite people on the entire planet. Not only did I laugh, but I cried. I haven't felt so charged with this type of inspiration in years.
In that atmosphere, I truly felt as if anything and everything was possible. I began to remember who I had been and how I had grown--or not grown. I remembered the tender and powerful moments of breakthrough and how good news is always better shared.
Honestly, I'm a bit scared to process the events of this weekend. Because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I will discover something that will challenge me to a new adventure. And I'm not one to back down from an adventure.
And am I ready? I do believe that I am.
Last night I had a series of kuh-razie dreams. Wait. But first, let's rewind back to my laying down in bed, trying to process this last weekend.
Out of the blue, my mother knocks on my door, doesn't really wait for a response and comes into my room. "Did you meet him?!"
I look at her like I had just woken up from an 8 hour nap. "Wha?"
"Did you meet him??" She persists. "I had this dream. And I had to rush to get everything ready. It was all white, I knew where I was. It was for you. It was your wedding."
"This is the dream you already told me about last week." I look at her with apathy.
"No." She says. "This was a different dream. And you didn't give me much time!"
"Okay." I tried to comfort her. I would hate for 2012 to simply leave the imprint of a dream and not the reality of its fruit. And I know better to reject good news, even it does seem impossible. And I gently bring our conversation to a close by saying, "...We'll see..."
With weight like that in the atmosphere it was a wonder I could sleep last night. But sleep I did, for about 12 good hours. Yes. You heard right. 12 hours.
And yes, as you know already, I'm an avid nighttime dreamer. I have crazy dreams that often foreshadow events that I'm about to embark on. It happens time and time again. And this has happened over the course of my entire life.
But one of the many dreams I had last night stood out to me. I was in a house that I am quite familiar with, but when I walked in, it was noticeably disheveled as if someone had broken in or had a party. None of the original home owners were there and some items in the house, seem to move on their own. I knew something was up.
Then I discover a stranger in their home. Well, he wasn't actually a stranger, but someone we all used to know years and years ago. When I discovered this guy in the home, he panicked a bit and started saying, "Yeah, I've been going through things and I needed to come here to get away, etc..."
But it all felt off and suspect to me.
And then a side door opens, and one of the home owners steps in. And when he sees me, he panics a bit, as if he was caught doing something dirty. And as soon as he walks into the home, a gigantic black beetle (With some distinct red markings, possibly words on its back), about the size of my entire hand, flies into the house. I knew this black beetle had the ability to bite and was somehow poisonous. I remember screaming in the dream and running around in the house, in attempt to not get attacked by this gross beetle.
I somehow avoided the beetle and made it towards the front door. My hope was that I could open the front door and fake out the beetle so that it would fly back outside to wherever it came from. In my attempt to close the front door to trap the beetle outside, it tried to come back in, but I slammed the door on it, practically killing it.
And somehow I instinctively knew that I needed to kill this beetle all the way. I was about to grab a pottery piece from the house, but I didn't want to mess up these folks' furniture. But somehow out of the blue, a friend of mine appeared with a knife and handed it to me.
I then took the knife and walked right outside the door to where this black beetle was. I then chopped it in half. And it split, but in the most bizarre way. There was no blood. No liquid. It was as if the beetle had been made of air and paper...and not guts at all.
I felt as if I had faced and defeated a spirit of fear and intimidation, linked to the fear of disappointment.
When there is the possibility of beautiful impossibility springing forth in your life, it's amazing to me how quickly opposition tries to choke out the seed. But don't freeze. Yes, you might scream and run like I did. But trust and know that God is purposefully positioning things for your good, beyond your own ability to control a situation or beyond your ability to be the expert in it.
But what I learned last night is that, there may be a huge buzzing black zombie beetle out to kill you (In the form of circumstances or people), but the glorious wedding will still happen.
Don't forget in the darkness what God has spoken to you in the light.
Remember: Impossible things are happening everyday.