Photo Credit: Joshua Anderson
It seems as if my original post from 2012, "The Last 2 Virgins on Earth" stirred up some thangs.
Not my sex life.
But nevertheless, some thangs.
So against my better judgement, I decided to expound a bit on this. I told myself that I wouldn't go towards this topic on my blog, because it's extremely personal. But hey, it's 2013. The world's already ended (Thank you, Mayans), so what do I have to lose? My pride? Ha. Did I tell you that I almost walked straight into a wall yesterday. So yeah, my pride is pretty much a dwindling factor in all of this.
Plus, I'm banking on the fact that you may never remember this post after you read it.
So here we go...
Yes. I have my "V membership card". In other words...
I'm a virgin.
Let's let that sink in for a bit.
And let me now go pace my room for about 10 minutes, because I can't believe I just put myself on blast like that.
Okay. I'm back.
For some of you, this may be the most shocking news you've heard since Lance Armstrong admitted he's a liar.
You may be feeling confused, pity, angry, delighted, relieved, encouraged, or suspicious of my choice to remain in the V-club for so long.
For others of you, this won't phase you at all. And now you've gone back to checking your Facebook page.
But let me paint a little bit of a back drop for you lovely people that may be absolutely shocked by my current confession. There is a whole sub-culture of people that are living their daily, weekly, monthly, yearly lives not yet (or postponing) enjoying the thrills and bliss of a great sex life... and yes, by a very intentional choice.
Now I understand that there are a variety of reasons why people make such a choice, but I'll simply share my own reasons.
It first started out that I just wanted to be a good Christian girl.
But then, all the good Christian girls around me, were already having sex.
But I wasn't ready to take the plunge.
As corny as it sounds, I truly wanted to give my body as a gift to my future husband, or a gift to God until my husband came.
And then I turned 19.
And I'm in college. Living in Malibu.
I have my first real kiss.
I'm ABOUT kissing. Praise the Lord for good kissers! You know who you are!
But I still wasn't ready to give my whole body away.
And then I graduated college.
I go to grad school.
And time continues to pass.
Last kiss = 2001.
What the what?!!!
And then it's 2013.
I can honestly tell you, that if God wasn't in my life, the way in which He's in my life, meaning...I've given Him control over every part of my life. Not just the part I lead on Sundays. If God wasn't in my life, in the unique way that he is, this blog post subject would read something like..."My Awesome Random Afternoon Delight Adventure -- Part 10" (Some of you will get that reference).
Because you see, I'm ABOUT sex. I think God is genius for being the author of it.
Every month, my body reminds me that I was made to reproduce, to make babies, to have great sex.
But I've never been in love. Just in "deep like." Therefore, I've never felt safe or at full peace to give my whole body away to someone. My heart is just too tender.
And that's what I've always wanted to do. Give my whole body away to the man I love, fully, unrestrained, abandoned, uninhibited, and under a banner of God's covenant love. To give my body away, not necessarily to a perfect man with no faults and past, but to a man simply after God's heart that could truly appreciate and value my heart and my sacrifice.
I also know part of me loves a challenge, the impossible, and a good story. And since I was 16, I wanted to see if I could actually live up to this crazy challenge of waiting. I mean, could I actually wait? Would I implode? Could I actually invest in a love story with man that I have yet to marry. And what if I never got married??
Needless to say, over the years, I've learned a great deal about self-control (Ha!). But I've also learned so much more about the love of God, my own heart and and the hearts of people on such a deep, deep level. My sacrifice, amazingly enough, has turned itself into a gift.
It hasn't been all roses in the waiting, but it hasn't been all thorns either.
Birds of a feather flock together.
I'm surrounded by quite a few folks that are either celibate or in the V-club. And yes, we are talking about fully fledged grown up folks. Folks that are actually hot, good looking, beautiful, sexy, grown, intelligent, feisty, flirty, and bold.
I often joke with the teenagers that I mentor, that I'm on my way to becoming the 40 year-old virgin (Insert laugh-cry here). But instead, I think I'll starting calling myself a Unicorn.
A good friend of mine, the one that I was actually in the conversation with last year, who said..."I think we're practically the last 2 virgins on earth."
Then said, "Actually, we're like the Last Unicorns."
And there you have it.
So if you take away anything from this blog post, it's that I let you in on an inside joke.
Therefore, when I tell you via a future blog post that I've killed the last unicorn,
You'll then know... not to cry.
Unless of course...it's out of joy. And in that case, let the tears of celebration flow.
"Our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we are waiting for."
-- Charles Stanley