When You Release


      I've been sharing with you how I've been fighting off anxiety these past 2 months. Which this anxiety was an unexpected surprise blow for me. And perhaps loads of people that get hit with waves of anxiety off and on in their lives can relate.

     It's so weird. Because I never really experienced any sort of anxiety in my life until I entered adulthood.

     I grew up encouraged and ready to take all kinds of risks and adventures in my life. But around 10 years ago, my bubble was burst. I had my first experience with crippling fear and anxiety. We are talking the type of fear, where you are afraid to leave the house or be around people. And where everything about your life seems like some weird mirage or video game world. I promise you, I thought I was going to have to commit myself to some mental illness facility. True story.

     But the story did not end there.

     The short version ending went something like this:

     Prayer  & Choosing Faith.

     Choosing to believe that good things still can and DO happen.

     Because at first glance, my anxiety 10 years ago  (similar to what I was experiencing in December), would have appeared to have come out of nowhere. But that was not entirely true.

     There were some pretty significant triggers then, and there were also some triggers recently:

     Transition + Disappointment + Fear = Anxiety Cocktail

     Now you may be a 1.5 on the scale of anxiety or you may be a 9.9, but I can almost guarantee that there is an intersection of these emotional and physical stages that have not been resolved in your life and/or  have not been honestly given a chance to be influenced by the Truth of God's love.

     In many cultures, there is a rite of passage. A moment, a victory, that celebrates a child officially embracing the next stage of life.

     It seems as though, in our eclectic American culture, we don't yet have a clear cut rite of passage for our young people as they become recognized as adults.

     I do like this idea of proving oneself. Not just for the sake of the community, but for the sake of the individual transitioning into a new stage of live. Because it is in times of challenge and trial that we are truly exposed and formed.

     It's fascinating to me, that despite our lack of official ceremony in the actual doing of a rite of passage, God still knows how to reach our hearts, challenge us to love more honestly than we've ever done before, and cause us to truly grow in very deliberate ways.

     I'm learning more and more that it's simply our job to cling. To cling ever so close to God, gently releasing all other things and people. But you and I must in many ways, fight to cling to love, because it won't always feel like the most natural thing to do.

     But keep releasing, and then keep clinging.

     Because you will--yes you will, make your way through this wondrous and mysterious rite of passage that has now been set before us.

Wisdom's Knocking:

“There's truths you have to grow into.” 

 -- H.G. Wells, 
Love and Mr. Lewisham