I used to think that I had to wait until everything was perfect until I could start something.
And I used to think that I had to wait until everything was flawless and neatly wrapped up in order to finish something and walk away.
Once thought to be something so effortless and simple when we were younger, now beginnings and endings have proven more complex than we could have ever imagined.
At the time, with your heart, you had believed. You trusted and moved forward. And no one can take that bravery away from you.
And that is why beginnings prove to be so magical. They are full of such possibility and hope.
And we live a little.
But no one could see down the road fully, not perfectly. And no one could foresee how these circumstances would fully play out.
And now with hearts aching from those things lost, we yearn for some sense of closure to stand on.
As of late, I'm learning our own power in in the midst of such transitional and unresolved circumstances. The choice and power to let go. To move forward into the foggy mist of the new and undefined whereabouts of your next victory.
And yet we are not rendered hopeless or even unloved through the hardship of this kind of surrender. But in fact, we are transforming into stronger vessels. Vessels that can hold a more passionate and profound amount of love.
Much like gold refined in the fire.
I'm currently in close quarters with people dealing with this idea of finding closure, whether it be with family members, relationships, or false gold dreams. Some have found the closure they long for, but most have not.
And it is in those murky areas, where rage rests quietly upon our hearts, and begins to taint our words and expectations.
I, myself, have been dealing with anger regarding certain scenarios in my life being void of immediate closure, understanding and interpretation.
But truly, it is God who is the Author and Finisher of all our story lines, even the ones that currently seem hopeless and discouraging.
While we may be able to place commas and even semi-colons in our worlds, relationships and circumstances -- God is creating the eternal the chapters.
And then I remember.
God is a God of redemption.
We often feel like we are relegated to walk through life with a limp because of the unresolve of others and the circumstances thrown our way, unable to give ourselves over to any true and hopeful new beginning. But that's not true.
Instead, we and our once brave hearts are challenged to not only remember that good things can and still happen, but that God is good. He is always our beautiful and ready beginning and our hopeful ending. Of which our defeated spirits and thirty hearts can find hope and renewed expectation in Him first. There is rest to be found there.
It's not so much about becoming weary in finding the perfect closure, because the deepest and most needed aspects of closure have already found us.
Closure doesn't start with someone else giving you the permission
to begin, end, or fully understand.
Much like forgiveness, the power of closure begins with you.