White Boys & D'Angelo


     Sooooooo, this post is mostly written for Tiffany, Cousin Brandi, Toya, and Tia. But I do hope you enjoy reading it as well. xo


     So apparently, my most popular board on Pinterest is my "The Land of Milk and Honey" board.

     I never really set out to start an interracial love story board per se. I just started "pinning" images that struck a chord with my heart. And before I knew it, most of these images of what I considered beautiful love and a reflection of the type of love story I wanted to have, happen to be images of Black women with White men.

     I remember being in high school, and having a crush on this White guy named....Let's call him "Billy".  I was bold and brazen even back then. And I told Billy through a serious of random classroom notes (The era of pre-cell phone texting...) I happened to have a crush on him.

     And what did our precious Billy say to me. Or rather to a friend of mine. "I believe mixing races is wrong. So that's that." And that ladies and gentlemen, was the end of that crush.

     But unbeknownst to me a weird seed of self-hatred and insecurity nicely nuzzled itself into the deep crevices of my heart.

     I had an almost idealistic upbringing and an amazing schooling experience with almost every nation represented. My mom used to call my friendship circle: The United Colors of Benetton. But I had never encountered blatant racism in such a way until that fateful day with Billy.

     Now, today we see an array of beautiful interracial couples, but that was not the case when I was in high school. And the thought of a Black girl being with a White guy seemed rare and unattractive to many.

     It wasn't until I went to Paris in 2000 with one of my best friends, that my mind was blown. I was seeing interracial couples everywhere! It was like an interracial utopia made up of so many different races. But what was really blowing my mind was that I was seeing so many different types of beautiful Black women with a variety of White French men. I was convinced I wanted to move to Paris for that reason alone.

      Because you see, it spoke to something deep in my identity. And it brought healing in the most unexpected way. I felt validated somehow.

     I've always been attracted to a variety of men, but those that I'm most drawn to and seem to have the most in common with happen to be White.

     And so, when I started this board on Pinterest, I treated it like a vision board and didn't take much thought to what I was pinning, I just wanted it to flow and be fun...until a Black lady friend of mine said,  "I love your milk and honey board! It's for girls like us right? For those of us who love White boys."

     And without skipping a beat and honestly with complete contrast to every other intention I wanted to mention, I simply said, "Yep. Yes it is."

     At first, I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth. For some reason, I felt a little ashamed and a little confused. Like I somehow exposed a secret too soon. Because my mind hadn't caught up with my heart until that point.

     But then I realized what I had been doing all along, in a bit of subconscious way. Thus, I decided to own it fully via my Pinterest page. And I'm glad I did.

     So years after my high school experience with "Billy", there are tons of blogs, Tumblr pages, dating sites, websites, and Pinterest pages that strictly focus on relationships between Black women and White men. And how beautiful people think that they are. And I find it all quite fascinating, especially the fact that my own little Pinterest page is just one of hundreds.

     So just recently, within the last month, I started Netflexxing (It means what you think it means) the show, "Hart of Dixie". Long story short, it's MY NEW JAM. (And for those die hard "Hart of Dixie" fans, yes, I'm late to the party, I know.)

     The premise: "New Yorker and new doctor Zoe Hart accepts an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work in his medical practice in Bluebell, Alabama. She arrives to find he has died and left half the practice to her in his will." - credit: imdb.com

     And I was just minding my business, you know, watching the show when character, Wade Kinsella has a new arc in his story line and I was like, um, Hi-hello. Who are you?? Why have I never seen you before, like really seen you?!

     The actor who plays Wade, is none other than: Wilson Bethel


     Yes. Let's pause for a moment of silence.

     According to my stalkery research he was also on some other prominent shows, but I had no idea who he was until last month.

     Side note: Nothing gets me more in life than a guy that listens to 90s R&B, dances like a thug, has good shoe game, uses the word unequivocally correctly, and/or can quote something from the movie "Coming to America".  And if this guy happens to be White...Uh-ohhh.

     So during that night of "research" on Wilson Bethel, I came across this old tweet:

     Wait. I'm sorry what? Did you just say D'Angelo?

     Nope. I Cannot.

     Everything about that tweet was just next level. Tiffany, Brandi, Toya and Tia know exactly what I mean.

   When I started this post, I was simply going to state the discovery of Wilson's amazing taste in music. But instead, like my writing often does, I ended up taking a major detour and giving you some backstory on my life.

     But at the end of the day, if you take anything from this post, it's this: Be brave in matters of love. Let the past go. And be willing to start fresh, to take risks, and to learn from your failures.

     And in the end, if someone rejects you, we all know it's their loss.

     But again, I urge you, be brave in love, just one more time. Your love story and life journey may look differently than you thought it could or would. But be brave.

     And of course, you can't always judge a book by its cover. People can still surprise you....even in the very best of ways...

     Wisdom's Knocking:

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”

- e.e. cummings


   D'Angelo Video Link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAfuUZRou7g