hannah anderson

The Artist Next Door: Hannah Anderson - Part I



     "For some time now, I've wanted to share these people with you in great detail and splendor. I wanted to honor their struggle, their process, their manifested dreams coming true, and those dreams that they are still contending for. I wanted you to understand how I've been shaped as a person, because of their presence in my life.

     The people that I will feature each month in this on-going series, titled, "The Artist Next Door", will highlight these extraordinary people, and will give you a sneak peak into their world, the behind the scenes of people you may have heard of, or may not have. Often I'll split my interviews with these artists into 2 parts, just for the simple fact that I like to build anticipation.

      With that said, I can guarantee--you can do anything but forget these stories or these artists after meeting them. And I'm pretty positive they'll stir something in you. Something perhaps you didn't know was still there."

     I first met this gem of a human being about 2 years ago. I was first struck by her unique beauty. She is absolutely stunning. An unconventional and exquisite knockout. I mean. --Look.At.Her.

     And then someone said in passing..."She sings..."

     Well that's my cue. I need to hear her sing. It's a must.

     Everyone has a song to sing, but singers, well, they move me. Musicians move me in general. I think its something in my blood. Bio-dad (that's another blog post altogether) and brother and uncles are all musicians. And the way in which I respond to music, well, let's just say that it compels me.

     I was curious to find out what type of sound would come out of this bold beauty named Hannah Anderson.

     It was astounding to me that she never mentioned she sang, but instead, it was someone else speaking her praises.

     When someone toots their own horn about being a profound singer or a musician, sometimes I get leery of their own hype and praise, but when someone else with nothing to gain, sings their praises unbeknownst to the artist in question, 9 times out of 10, the artists turns out to be an unexpected comet of glory.

     And so goes the story with Hannah Anderson.

     I want you to discover for yourself the sweetness of her voice and music. If you haven't noticed, for all of 2013 I've had her song "Stronger" on the far right column as one of my "Jamz of 2013".

     Something about her music makes me proud to be a woman: Alive, tender, and fiery.

     It is an absolute pleasure to introduce you to her. She is an artist that we will continue to visit with in the months and years to come. I simply love seeing how artists evolve over time. Their music, their life, their message.

     And now, without further ado...


Hannah Anderson



Give us 3 words to describe your music.

     Thoughtful. Good. Fresh.
This is sort of a 2 in 1, but what do you see as your greatest strength and what do you see as your greatest weakness?

     I feel like my greatest strength is that I’m really good at starting things. My greatest weakness is I’ll either quit or take forever to finish anything. So I have many, many projects that I’m in the process of, or I just haven’t and probably won’t finish. Which is real bad.



What was the driving force behind your latest EP, "From the Dust"?

     Well, definitely the fact that I love music. A lot of the songs in my EP deal with heartbreak and I think that was also a driving force. It’s one thing to play music as a hobby and then it’s another to actually make it something that you do as a career, something that you’re really serious about, and have a heart for. I think this, for me was like my way of stating that, 'Yes, this is what I want to do.'

     I have a lot of doubts about my music and just showing my own music to people. So this for me was kind of a big risk!







What do you want listeners to take from your songs?

     I always want listeners to take a sense of hope from my music. 

      All of my music usually comes from a place of when I'm either way up or extremely down. When you’re on top of the world you have all of the hope in the world and when you’re down it’s always good to be, or to try to be, hopeful. I think that’s one of the main things. That’s really important to me.

Why music?...

     Why not music? Literally, when I don’t play music I’m not the same person. I don’t know what it is about music... Maybe the fact that, for me, it says more than anything I could ever just speak. Not only that, but it reaches people on a different level than just speaking to them would. You can communicate with someone who doesn’t even speak the same language. It’s just good and it makes me feel good.

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To find more info on Hannah Anderson:









Second Best, But Then Restoration



      He kept asking me if everything was okay. And I kept saying yes...

:::

      But we all know the truth. Something was bothering me. Something had affected and possibly infected my heart:

       Anxiety.

      For the first time in years, I let my guard down. And I don't think he even noticed.  I opened my heart towards expectations. Not only was my heart full of great hope this past June, I felt in many ways that my hope had been fulfilled. But right before a miracle reaches your hand, it seems as if all hell begins to break loose.

     "The course of true love never did run smooth." - Shakespeare

      I've always had this fear in the back of my mind, that I would be someone's second choice and not their first choice.

     And although I've gone to great lengths to make space and room in my heart for true love, I'm fearful that the same is not being done for me, on the part of the man who I will end up falling for utterly and wholly. Hello Anxiety.

     Not to make this a sob story of sorts, but just to give you facts and context:

     I've only chosen to enter into one, yes one, dating relationship since being out of high school. And in fact, I only had one boyfriend in high school. But our dating relationship had more of a brother-sister vibe to it, versus anything romantic. Subsequently, that lasted a little less than a month. Sorry, Joey.

     But many of you already know,  the one relationship that I had in college, which only lasted 6 months, left scars on my heart for the many years following. After that relationship, God and I had an amazing conversation.

     God reminded me of the little warning nudges He was trying to give me, before I had entered into that relationship. And how I had ignored all of those warning signs, and basically told God, "Don't worry. I got this. I have this under control."

     Through our conversation, after that ill-fated relationship, God simply reminded me that I could trust Him. And that He in fact, has everything under control. And therefore, when it came to who I was going to fall in love with for keeps, God already knew who this person would be and knew how to direct me straight to that person.  I had already seen God do this sort of "directing" in other areas of my life. So, at this point I was ready to trust Him fully.

     And since that moment I've been on a faith journey regarding romance ever since. That was over 10 years ago.

     "The course of true love never did run smooth."


     The draw to date every attractive person I saw, faded shortly thereafter. It became easier to gracefully decline the advances of men I wasn't really feelin'. Plus, I didn't want to go through the cycle of dating. It didn't mean that I wouldn't spend quality time with the opposite sex, and have amazing guy friends. It just meant that I wasn't going to unveil all the mysteries of my heart to every Tom, Dick, or Harry. I wanted to save those places of my heart for someone special.

     But of course, I still desired to be held, to be kissed, to be loved. But I chose not to engage in any physical intimacy from the moment I had that conversation with God over 10 years ago. This by far, has probably been one of the hardest things I've had to walk through in my life thus far. I mean, my primary love language is physical touch, people!

     But I wanted to delay gratification for the sake of having a one-of-a-kind adventurous love story, tailor made by God. I wanted to see where this road could really lead me. And believe me, at times, I'm scared that I've lost my mind and that this will not pan out at all. And I'll be standing looking like a fool with my pants down.

     Some nights I'm afraid of being alone. Other nights, I might cry about it. But often, I feel peace and grace in the waiting. And somehow, through it all, I sense and know that everything is going to be okay.

     And then God begins to show me an area of my heart that is full of anxiety and needs healing...

     You see, something shifted in me after that last relationship. Even though it was ions ago,  I was left feeling a little bit like a chump and would carry a bit of residue even 10 years later. Like the feeling of being Second Best. Feeling like I couldn't compete with the other woman. And my man at the time somehow knew that. We'll of course he did. That's why he cheated.

     And yes, we all make mistakes. And I'm always ready to forgive. But remember, those mistakes do have consequences that may not often show themselves right away and rarely just affect ourselves.

     The consequence of his actions, resulted in me constantly looking over my shoulder at the "other hot girl". Because most likely, that's who you'd choose, if it got down to the wire.

     So now let's bring it back to this past summer, and me letting my guard down towards this specific guy. There was already an ideal girl in his life. Not one that he was currently with, but previously. And there was the trigger.

     I don't know about your heart. But I know about mine. It's super sensitive. I'm definitely a feeler. And in these years of waiting for love, my heart has not become more bitter, but somehow more vulnerable.

      So in secretly opening my heart towards this guy, the residue of "Second Best" began to surface. And I thought to myself, "What have I been doing all these years? Working towards this? To feel this?"

     Would I only be second best for you? Horrible. No one deserves second best. Everyone deserves their first choice. I would hate to disappoint you. I don't want to disappoint you. Well, in fact I already have, because I'm not her. Or that girl over there, or that girl, or this girl. ---Oh, Hi Anxiety.

     I tuckered myself out.

     And I basically fell out like a 5 year old from a sugar coma.

     I was forced to surrender.

     I couldn't rely on my own ability, my own gifting, my own anything to rectify the situation. In fact, it seemed that the more I tried to utilize my own efforts, the worse things became.

     And then.

     God.


Photo Credit: Hannah Anderson


      Surrender opens the door for restoration.

      But wait. I thought I was already good. I thought I was already restored?

     "But recently, you suffered a real sense of disappointment, Patrice, because things are not going as planned concerning your current love story."

      Well, it's funny how disappointment brings forth heartbreak. And heartbreak becomes the breeding ground for anxiety and mistrust. And when you no longer trust people or things around you, you feel the need to take up the reigns once more in attempt to control everything, in fear of being hurt again.

      But you have to let go. You have to.

     Yes. Yet again.


Photo Credit: Hannah Anderson


     And then, Restoration begins to flow.

     And I am reminded of how beautiful and unique I am. I am reminded that I am desirable. I am reminded that I am wonderfully and fearfully made. I reminded of how complete I am in God. I am reminded that I am enough. And I am reminded of how I am and forever will be a "First Choice", not merely second best.

     But, see, only God can really remind you and I of this, and speak it over us with such power and conviction. Because if this were to come just from yourself, family, or friends, you would have the tendency to doubt it. But when it comes to you in the way in which you are accustomed to hearing God's voice. It changes you.

     And peace arises where anxiety once took root.

     Newfound joy surfaces where despair began to leak in.

     And hope begins to steer your motives once again.


Photo Credit: Hannah Anderson


     Surrender is not about giving up, it's about making way--

     Making way for the impossible.

     And in my case, making way for love.

     True surrender, although painful at times, is not birthed out of fear, but faith. Because now, we relinquish control based solely upon our own efforts, and we put our faith in God to do the very thing we cannot. It's the ultimate adventure and it definitely involves a high degree of trust--of letting go.

     I know it seems so backwards. Surrender to gain? But we're all familiar with the effects of pruning a tree:
Prune: Trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, esp. to increase fruitfulness and growth.

     I now know more than ever that God is always ready to restore us.

     And with His restoration, He doesn't just bring you back to your former glory. He brings you to a glory that you've never known, full of increased fruitfulness and growth. A land flowing with Milk and Honey.


     "The course of true love never did run smooth..."





Wisdom's Knocking:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Psalm 139:23-24)







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