Being Cinderella


Photo Credit: Lindsay Coleman

     Okay. Let's get down to the nitty gritty.

     I had a little bit of a mini-baby meltdown today.

     I got caught up in the ways in which I felt overlooked in regards to romance.

     Have you ever been in a room, restaurant, classroom, or in a family conversation, where they are trying to hook up every other single female they can think of with a mysterious eligible bachelor doctor who happens to be your type, but they don't even think to consider you?

    Or does this just happen to me?

     Well, I've always loved the story of Cinderella. I've always loved the idea of someone hidden being brought to the forefront and later recognized as worthy of a great and profound love story. A royal love story of sorts.

     And today I realized that I love Cinderella so much because I actually feel like Cinderella in my own life, you know, before the castle bit.

     Yes, I often sing songs with birds and I actually do love to clean, but something today got triggered where I felt that no one is going to ask me to the ball. And that thought crossed my mind, "I guess I get to remain hidden...forever." Oh joy.

     I feel like some of you reading this, girls and guys, feel a little bit like Cinderella as well. Like there's this big ball that's already happening and somehow everyone else gets to go, but no one has bothered to give you an invitation, you weren't even considered.

     I know. It's painful.

     Oh, I just remembered something.

     Do you remember the part in Cinderella (Disney's version) where her stepmother tells her that she's able to go to the ball if she does all of her ridiculous amount of chores. Cinderella gets SO excited and later her animal friends work on their version of an elegant dress to wear to the ball. But then, right before Cinderella is meant to go to the ball with the family,  the stepsisters ruin her dress and Cinderella is left behind as the other girls go ahead of her to the ball. And in that moment, all hope is lost.

     I think I've been my own evil stepmother. I've created a laundry list of items for myself to do in order for me to feel worthy of going to the ball.

     But my worth should have never been on the table. My worth has already been established. Your worth has already been established. You're wonderful, beautiful, handsome, and amazing.

    And I think I've also been my own evil stepsister, I've done my fair share of self-sabotaging throughout the years as well (especially my twenties. I mean seriously). Disqualifying myself for this reason or that reason, etc. etc.

     But the amazing part of the Cinderella story, or of any story for that matter, is always after the "All Hope is Lost" moment.

    Because that's when the Fairy Godmother appears.

     No big deal.

     Just a little bit of Divine intervention that interrupts us right in the middle of our sorrow and grief.

     And God knows, that's exactly what we need.

     So yeah, I'm single. With no end in sight. I'm 33 years old. I haven't dated anyone since I was 19. I've been oddly consecrated to God during that entire time (19-33). And I say oddly, because I honestly did not do this on purpose. Ha. I kinda got punked into it. I mean, yes, I willingly did it, His Love is that good and life changing, but if He would have told me at 19 that I would be practically living like a nun for over a decade, with no late night french kisses or one night stands, I would have probably either walked in the other direction or said to God, "Oh, you so crazy!"

     But alas, here we are.

     And I honestly regret nothing about my romance journey so far; it's just been a lot different than I thought it would be. But, tonight,  I guess I just needed to tell my heart and your heart something:

I just wanted to let you know, you have been invited to the ball.

Yes you have. 

And I'll shall see you there.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

"A dream is a wish your heart makes 
When you're fast asleep...
Have faith in your dreams, and someday 
Your rainbow will come smiling through. 
No matter how your heart is grieving, 
If you keep on believing, 
The dreams that you wish will come true."

- "Cinderella"