I Wanna Lighten Your Load - My Messy Beautiful

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     You know that moment when you hear a song and it moves you and you start singing the chorus, but you're not 100% sure if you're singing the right lyrics, but you keep karaoke singing anyway.

     Well, that happened to me recently.

     I was listening to this song called, "Latch" by Disclosure featuring the amazing Sam Smith.

     And everything was hitting me right about that song. The track, the vocals, the mix, etc. I was in the groove. And I was singing my little heart out in my living room, having my own personal dance party.

     The words of the song were just flowing naturally from my mouth. With that said, we get to the end of the first verse, before getting into the chorus...

     And I promise you I kept hearing and subsequently singing:
"I Wanna Lighten Your Load"

     And right then and there I vowed that this song would somehow be played at my future wedding reception.

     I mean, why wouldn't it be? The sentiment of helping someone carry a burden and helping them walk through this life's journey, right by their side, with a sense of deep gratitude, awe, and love. Yes please.

     Because we feel heavy at times--- the strain of our past, our baggage, our unresolved pain, our unmet and often dashed expectations, our discouragement, and of course, the weariness of the journey.

     "I wanna lighten your load...Could I lighten your load?"

     That sang like poetry to my heart and expressed perfectly what God had been doing in the midst of my very long and unique singleness journey.

     It's no longer about "Gimme, gimme, gimme my hot stud of a king husband." For reasons such as: I need great sex, I need status, I need to feel complete, I need to accomplish this milestone in life for my own identity and self worth's sake, etc. etc.

     But now, my heart simply yearns to lighten his load.

     Mind you, the prerequisites still stand for Mr. Man, (Kind, funny, loves God, has a job, wears deodorant,..etc.) but I no longer worry or harp on those matters. I trust God.

     But as for my role in my own romance story, the shape of who I am, has become so much more clear.

     I look forward to the day when I get to share my life with someone, and more than that, I know that God will use us both to help one another 'lighten the load.'  And here's the key--not just for ourselves, but I pray for countless others--for those that have been in the trenches of a broken heart, whether in relationship or regarding purpose and destiny.

     This type of love--of lightening the load was always meant to be continuous, rippling outward. I understand that so much more now. Because that's what God is constantly doing for us. Wanting to lighten our load:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”    
                                                                                                        (Matthew 11:28-30 - The Message Translation) 

     Now in my 30s, I can honestly say, I am encouraged, strengthened, and full by the love that I have encountered by God in the valleys of being alone, being single for almost my entire life, wrestling, yelling, crying, enduring anxiety, panic attacks, embarrassment, doubt, and then somehow right back again to love.

     His-- is an enduring love.

     And His invitation to lighten the load, always stands, translating beyond time and space.

     So here I was processing this beautiful revelation regarding lightening the load, when I decided to look up the lyrics to the song I had been singing.

      Well, needless to say, Sam wasn't singing, "I wanna lighten your load." Instead he was singing, "I want to lock in your love." 

      Story of my life.

      And here I was, creating a story in my mind, almost bringing myself to tears off of something misinterpreted. #imean

      My mishap caused me to explore a road I wouldn't have traveled otherwise. It's funny how unexpected roads and journeys lead us to the places we actually needed to be.

     Someone said, if your not making mistakes you're not learning and growing.

     Well, in my case, it was because of the mistake and misinterpreted lyric that I was able to learn, grow, and reflect on my heart's journey.

     God can truly redeem anything.

     "I want to lock in your love." Yes, a beautiful lyric indeed. But now, I'm partial to my own remix. Sometimes the strange and beautiful lyrics we hear in our own heads, is the song that's meant to be sung by us...#selah

      I invite you to give thanks for those in your life that are helping you lighten the load. And may you have the honor of doing the same for someone else.

Wisdom's Knocking: 

"You, you lift my heart up.
when the rest of me is down.
You, you enchant me, even when you're not around.
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down.
I'm latching on babe, now I know what I have found.

I feel we're close enough.
I wanna lock in your love.
I think we're close enough.
Could I lock in your love baby.

Now I got you in my space.
I won't let go of you.
Got you shackled in my embrace.
I'm latching onto you."

- "Latch" - Disclosure ft. Sam Smith