The Inconvenience of Love


     It never fails.

     Actions speak so much louder than words.

     About 4 years ago, I was visiting some friends of mine in Redding, California. It was the kind of trip that dreams are made of. 

     At least my dreams...

    Spending our days at coffee shops, restaurants, and parks--simply experiencing the city. 

    Staying up all night eating pancakes and strawberries. 

     Late night conversations about the supernatural, Jesus, and our potential dating lives.

     In turn, my friends in Redding introduced me to more of their tribe. And right then and there, in a mere moment, my family got bigger. 

     I knew within the first 5 minutes of meeting these new people that I would be yoked with them for a lifetime. 

     It's true what they say, when you know, you just know.

     And that's exactly what happened.

     These were the kind of people you read about in novels from the 1800s (Pride and Prejudice, The Count of Monte Cristo, etc.)  Fierce yet kind. Pious yet incredibly relatable and full of laughter. Vulnerable yet strong. Passionate and loving with such high hopes and vision for a legacy beyond themselves.

     I fell in love.


     And then I came back to Los Angeles.

     Well, what does one do with such a spark?

     Does a flame immediately set a blaze with such given momentum? With such affirmation expressed by all parties involved.


     True, a foundation for kinship had been miraculous laid like a trap set before us in a forest -unsuspecting to all of us. But what does one do to maintain such connection?

     And herein lies the work and the doing of love. 

     Otherwise known as the inconvenience of love

     Truth be told, I'm a bit rubbish at relationships. Ask any one of my best friends.

     I hate talking on the phone. I rarely check my voicemail. And I usually get to properly see them once or twice a month because of my tendency to have an ever increasing full plate of a schedule. 

     These amazing friendship warriors have weathered some of life's biggest storms and greatest victories with me, and yet, I rarely find myself in a position of truly inconveniencing myself on a continual basis.  There may be moments when I utterly give myself away, but the consistency of these instances is lacking in my life.

     Because who likes to be inconvenienced?

     Furthermore, it takes a special breed of human to have the grace to reside and rest in my inner circle, otherwise known as: My ride-or-die clique.

     And those in my inner circle...believe so strongly they've been chosen to be there they rest assured and feel secure ---knowing that my heart to communicate is there, even though we may not see each other for months at a time. (Note: No one in my inner circle is there by accident---it's because I have chosen them--just as they have chosen me.) 

     But yet, the work and doing of love still matters and still must be done. 

     But the thing is, I LOVE and adore quality time with people. But getting to that place of rest with the amount of people I keep relationship with at times can be overwhelming.

     But I'm learning that the gift of such extraordinary friendships becomes an opportunity to lean in on the grace of God, lest I become so performance driven, even in my relationships that I do things void of love and integrity

     And yet, the work and the doing of love still must persist.

     God has been reminding me that we truly gain our lives by giving it away.

     The more we try to hoard our time, our finances, our love -- there will never seem to be enough.

     But as soon as we learn to share these things, we become like a river of living water. Receiving and giving with such a spirit of rest, grace, and freedom that those characteristics become more and more apart of our interactions with people. And we partake more and more in the rest, grace, and freedom we share with others.

     In the sacrifice of our convenience, something begins to break open in us. 

     We actually position ourselves for more---more love, more joy, more peace, more of those beautiful moments we wish our lives were full of.

     Wherein, one might think you are setting yourself up for a disadvantage when choosing to inconvenience yourself.

     But no. It's the exact opposite. You are positioning yourself for the more.

     So what happened with my new spark of a family in Redding?

     I gained a sister. 

     She on several different occasions has driven 9 hours to be with me, to come for rest, to sing songs with my youth group, to pray destiny over me.

     I've never known anyone quite like her.

     She, also like me is a very, very busy lady. 

     Yet she is so intentional about her friendship with me. And she knows she has the space and freedom to do so in our friendship. 

     I've learned and seen the fruit of a life of love through her own life.

     She, above many, has taught me about the beauty of being inconvenienced by love.

     I honestly did nothing to gain such love, she gave it freely.

     And I'm simply blessed to be such a recipient.

     And as I look back on some special moments in my life, I'm reminded that many of my biggest and most cherished blessings have come through the act of sacrifice and inconvenience.

     I think God sets up love in such a way that it becomes true in us.  Because love at its core is selfless.

     And yet, mesmerized by the Hollywood culture of our time through the novelty of romance films (of which I love, by the way), we lose sight that love isn't haphazard and although involves us and intoxicates us, is never just about us and our singular lives.

     Romance and love becomes complete in the sharing and in the giving away. In the often inconvenient parts of love.

     But until we get that through our thick hearts, we will continually find ourselves going around the same mountain over and over again as it pertains to the people we attract and the relationships we have.

     But rest assured. Love is patient. And Love is kind. And if you have to go around the mountain again just one more time. Love will be there right by your side.

     Yet, if you're ready to move beyond such weighty and lofty mountain climbs and ready to pass your test with love, it simply starts with an open and willing heart.

Wisdom's Knocking:

"The important thing is this: 
To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

- Charles Du Bos