To Be Held

     Photo Credit: Victoria Clemmons

     Grrr. I hate making mistakes. Mostly, I hate being a repeat offender of the same crime. I'm in the process of planning something significant. But it's been a frustrating journey to say the least. But something within me still thinks that it's worth the fight. Do you have one of those scenarios in your life?

     Normally, this type of thing would be a breeze, but I find myself bumping clumsily into walls of challenge left and right. There's a key component missing for me, a partner in crime. I love working in the midst of a team. I love accomplishing something "together". But now, for this particular journey, it's just me.

     As much as I try to include others and ask for help along the way, I'm met with half-hearted interest and even less commitment.

     In this moment, I just want to be held.

     It may or may not be rational, but I honestly think that everything would be 110% better if I could simply be held by strong arms for an extended amount of time. Oh, and a couple of neck nuzzles wouldn't hurt either...

     ...Just to reaffirm to me, that everything is going to be alright.

Wisdom's Knocking:

No matter the difficulty you may be facing, know that Comfort is running towards you with an embrace.

I'm an Airport Celebrity. It Can Happen to You

     Photo Credit: Victoria Clemmons

     A couple weeks back, I did something that I've never done before. It was exhilarating. And yes, I had a sweat mustache while doing it. At the time, my thoughts were racing. But there was no turning back.

     Compounded with the pressure of time, I also had the intent stares from a crowd of people burning a hole through my entire being.

     What was this event, you ask? Oh, I just simply boarded a plane...

     Digital style.

     Boom.

     Oh, you don't know what that means?

     No boarding pass, baby. Yeah, I do my part to help the planet.

     Instead of going through airport security with a paper boarding pass, which is the standard, when reaching airport security I simply whipped out my iPhone, which had a fancy dancy coded hieroglyphic on its screen. That special hieroglyphic, of which I received 24 hours before I actually even stepped foot into the airport, translated into my official boarding pass and allowed me to enter airport security, walk straight to my gate, and board my flight.

     So when I arrived at the security check point--after the woman that struggled to hand over her semi-soggy boarding pass (Due to her sweaty palms and painful multitasking of holding an obscene amount of luggage) I was nervous.

     I had never done this before. If this went wrong or delayed the disgruntled passengers behind me, there could have been an airport scene.

     So when I told the airline security checkpoint person that I had a digital boarding pass, she looked confused. All eyes were on me. I was starting to sweat a little.The passengers eyes behind me were burning the back of my neck.

     But then, the airline security person looked at me and said, "Oh, you get to scan it right here." And in that moment, I immediately recognized a small electronic scanner, that I could have sworn just appeared out of no where. Needless to say, I was feeling very Bourne Identity up in that piece.

     And then...as if in slow motion, I digitally scanned my boarding pass from my iPhone. I was given the green light. I could feel the wide-eyes of the audience behind me. And with a little bit of sweat above my upper lip, I just walked through towards my gate like a rockstar.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Don't be afraid to try something new.

Mixed Signals = No Signal

     

     Okay. So apparently, I don't always follow my own advice and my own words of wisdom. It's one thing to know the right thing to do or say. It's a whole notha ballgame to actually do those things.

     So if you've been following my blog at all this year, you may have picked up on my coded language as I've been describing my woes and angst with the opposite sex. To give you a bit more context to my monologue, it all had to do with battling it out with a few guy friends of mine.

     The battle rested on the grounds of mixed signals. That fact remained, that I wasn't quite sure if they were pursuing me romantically or simply just trying to be extra friendly, whatever that means. And yes,  my heart was open to the possibility of romance with these particular fellas, unbeknownst to them.

     In the past few years, I've let go of a majority of my male friendships, because I was intentionally trying to make emotional space for my boo to come on the scene. But then, before I knew it, I was once again in the mix of some amazing guy friends. And that's when things began to get a little blurry.

     I cannot tell you how many times, I've given advice to a conflicted lady friend who couldn't read the actions of her trusted guy friend. To put it simply, I would just tell them: "When a guy is wanting and ready to pursue you, he will let you know." So until then, mixed signals, no matter how strong or possibly romantic they may seem, equals no signal for romance. Plus, you want a man that's clear and intentional anyway. A much more positive indication of things to come.

     Now, if you're stuck with one of those guy friends that has horrible boundaries and loves to cuddle you, but not date you. You need to woman up and create healthy boundaries in that friendship that should have been there in the first place. Or else, your heart will be trampled.

     So what have I re-learned thus far, in 2011? Mixed signals = no signals. And furthermore, I should follow my own advice.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Don't just talk the talk. Walk the talk.

Where Have I Been?

     I've been lagging on my blog posts! But alas, I'm back in the game. There's been so much going on. I cannot wait to update you on such things as: "I'm an Airport Celebrity. It Can Happen to You" and "I'm Obsessed with My Nieces!"

     But my next blog post will be: "Mixed Signals = No Signal".

     So let's get this party started again!

Wisdom's Knocking:

In the best of times and in the worst of times, keep on truckin'.

Disliked

   Photo Credit: Lindsay Coleman  

     Have you ever been in the dilemma of 2 feuding friends? And yet, you yourself, have no beef with either party. So you are in some weird limbo middle area between the 2 feuding friends. Ugh.

     How do you fully handle this situation with grace and honor to both parties involved? It's such an awkward place to stand in one's friendship. You don't want to take a side, yet you sympathize with both parties in the feud. Do you call an intervention? Or just wait until things really blow up?

     I have such a heart for sincere communication, a forgiving heart, and the art of listening rather than talking in an argument. But in my particular case (As the friend in the "Middle"), it doesn't look like either party is ready to talk it out yet.

     So I get to tip-toe around subjects that involve the other friend while talking to the opposing friend. It's a bit exhausting and nerve racking.

     But then I think, why am I taking this burden as my own? But then I think, this feud is somehow a reflection on my own capacity to choose loving and mature friends. I guess I feel like I failed in a way. The people that I chose to love in friendship, are choosing not to love one another.

     But of course, I cannot take responsibility for someone else's actions and motives, but it still affects my heart.

     I just hope that in the end, what was construed and meant for evil would be turned around for great good. And hopefully I'll be retiring my awkward-person-in-the-middle-friendship seat--sooner rather than later.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Most of the time, we are far more similar than we are different.