Eye Patch of Bitterness

     So maybe you don't see complete and utter darkness. But somehow, your vision is still askew. It's like you're wearing an eye patch. But funny thing is, you don't even need an eye patch. So why wear one? It looks cool? It feels comforting? Everyone is wearing one? Yeah. That seems to be the trend these days.

     Eye Patches.

     Is life is too scary to live with both eyes open?


     Too many questions? Would you like another eye patch? No? Because that would make you feel blind? But you are almost blind as it is. No? It's not the same thing. Yes. You're right. I'm wrong.

     But at least I'm not wearing an eye patch that I don't need.

     Instead, I'll stick with my View-Master.

Wisdom's Knocking:

You won't need an eye patch forever.

Wandering Eye

Photo Credit: Daniella Hovsepian

      So I was at church a few weeks back and there he was. The guy with the wandering eye. You know who I'm talking about. And if you don't, you're probably that guy.

     I love how I always seem to catch people in the most awkward of settings. I usually catch people doing the funniest and most inappropriate things, and of course all when they think no one is looking. Well no one was meant to see it, but somehow I did and always do.

     So this particular Sunday, I watched as one of my beautiful and attractive younger friends walked into the room. And then, unintentionally I looked to the left of her. Everyone else seemed to be distracted by this, that, and the other. But not me. I had precision timing. My timing was so perfect that I had about 3.5 interrupted seconds of seeing this guy stare betwixt, looking as if he wanted to sop her up like a biscuit or cuddle her like a kitten. I honestly couldn't tell.

     Mister, did you not notice how you looked from an outside perspective? I mean, did you really think you were that slick? If you had stood there another 1.5 seconds, you would have definitely given yourself a creeper nomination.

     But instead, like an old man coming out of an accidental nap while standing up, you somehow snapped out of it. You kept most of your composure and walked out of the room as if no one had seen your lapse of pimp life.

     And there you have it. Just when you think no one sees. Someone does.

     And if not right away. Sooner or later.

Wisdom's Knocking:

As human beings, we are far more readable than we'd like to believe.

HYPOCRITE

      

     Dear Readers:

     It's been a while since I've engaged with you. There has been a heavy steel weight of things floating and landing in the atmosphere. Certain unfinished business has been declared finished, but not in the way in which I imagined them to be finished. And before you get scared. No, I am not turning my back on my blog. But other creative endeavors have been fully shut down in the last week.

     Noted, as one door closes another is swift to open. Wait. Perhaps I have been a bit to liberal with my use of the word "swift". Rather, when one door closes, another door is sure to open--but when that door is to open, no one seems to quite know with strong certainty.

     But let me not talk around events. Let me point you to the direct problem in this scenario and chain of events: ME

     I have come face to face with my own hypocrisy. And not only did I face it, I saw the chain of events that led to hurting another individual involved in my creative endeavor. For over a year, we all, as a collaborative team, worked for the better good of a specific artistic vision.

      And I, through my own negligence and pride let everyone, including myself down.

     Oh, how we ought to not think too highly of ourselves, for as surely as such false heights are attained, it  will transfer into the speed of one's own deception and fall.

     How do you right such a wrong?

     First, take responsibility for it. Don't do the classic "Hot Potato" act and blame it on everyone else. Secondly, "Get Low". No, not the dance move, but an act of the heart. It's time to eat some "Humble Pie". In my case, I honestly took some time to share with others (Trusted Friends) the big mistake I had made and the great act of hypocrisy I had committed (Including my deep embarrassment). Afterwards, I prayed for strength and grace. And then I confronted the offended person via an email response.

     It was not my attempt to get back on this particular project. But to stop perpetuating my own self righteousness and allow true Love to reign in this situation.

     Are there ways in which you are leading a hypocritical life? What are the two different messages you are sending? Who has been affected by your hypocrisy? You may think no one, especially if such conflicting actions happened behind closed doors. But if those doors happened to be opened, who then would be hurt by such actions?

     It's time to face our music. And the symphony we are truly creating. Not just that in which we present to people.

     The "Hypocrite" in our stories is always someone else. For the most part, we are never the antagonist in our own stories. But if that story was being told from a different point of view, you may discover that your arc was far less complimentary than first perceived.

     So yes, this has all been incredibly painful. And the aroma of what I did will always linger a little bit in the atmosphere of that person's heart.

     But I also hold Hope close by. It is when things are truly recognized as out of my control that I can rest. I can't change the situation now. I cannot force a memory or an incident to be forgotten. But I have taken responsibility for my actions, and I have eaten some Humble Pie. Now I leave the rest to love and time. To do those things in which I cannot do. Completely heal and progress everyone involved, including myself.

Wisdom's Knocking:

In matters of life and love, stay close to humility.

You Broke My Heart

Law & Order: UK - Episode: "Deal"

      In case you don't know already, I'm pretty much in love with all things BBC America. At present, I'm obsessed mostly with Law & Order: UK

      I'm so invested in all of these characters. Which is a bit odd, because we never get a great deal of information regarding each character's personal life. We only infer things by how they respond in the context of a crime they are solving. But the writing mixed with the charisma and mystery of each character sucks me in.

     And with that type of vulnerability to a show and its characters, one is bound to get their heart broken. Of which I did.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Detective shows are often better with British accents.

Unfinished Business

     Lindsay Coleman

     It feels awful to have a lot of unfinished things floating out there in the atmosphere. At some point, you just want to throw your hands up and say, "Freak it all!"

     I think unfinished business has a lot to do with distractions. Those subtle things that we allow to slowly eat away at our time, our relationships, our finances, etc.

     At some point we have to want to stop the cycle. Key word being, we ourselves have got to actually want to stop the cycle of perpetual unfinished business.

     I've learned a lot about my personality type in the last month. In case your curious I'm a "Wind-Fire". Yes, it means what you think it means. For more clarification: Path Elements Profile

     One of my key attributes involves: "Over-committing time". Yes. I'm going to let you know that upfront. But don't worry, now that I have that knowledge, I'm doing my best to not fall into my usual traps.

     But the knowledge of such weaknesses doesn't necessarily make the journey all that easier. I look around my room tonight, and I still have a Netflix (Or shall I say, Qwikster?--Dumb.) movie that I have not finished watching in over a year. Supposedly I'm waiting for the "Right time". Which still haunts me as unfinished business.

     And there's my screenplay. I'm actually making some solid progress, but it's painful. Unfinished business.

     And then there are those things I wish I would've said in the midst of an abnormal setting and indirect confrontation this past weekend. Unfinished business.

     It seems as though certain things are unraveling. Well indeed they are.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Our need for grace is far greater than we first thought.