I Wanted

     Photography By: Antonio Pena

     I wanted to write to you today about feeling frustrated. But then I got frustrated about having to write it down.

     But squeezing past that frustration, I'm going to write anyhow. Sometimes, just showing up is 80% of the battle--not just half.

     What do you do, when you know someone is stepping into something not quite right? Yes, you can do the usual: Warn them, jump in front them, or simply hold onto their feet.

     But what if they insist on moving forward.

     I guess they'll do just that. They'll end up doing what they want to do. And perhaps my perspective is incredibly biased. No. In fact it is. Emotions are a fickle drug. They'll make you feel less than human one minute, and then define the bliss of human experience the next minute.

     Sometimes we don't always get what we want.

     Are we okay with that?




Wisdom's Knocking:

If you feel agitated and frustrated with life, it's best to talk it out with someone other than yourself, to simply add perspective.



When Smart Girls Act Dumb

     Photographer: Ashley Johnson


     We've all seen it. Perhaps you've been the culprit. But it always astounds me how a grown woman can miss such important social cues. Meaning, if a man doesn't show you respect, honor, and kindness upon a first impression, chances are that man does not see your value and does not want to invest in you.

     You may be the type to extend grace beyond a first impression. And I tip my hat to you. But if the man repeatedly shows you disrespect, you've clearly let him know how you really think of yourself: Cheap and of no worth.

     Therefore, the man in his great immaturity and pride will allow you to be degraded and hurt, with him feeling no remorse, because you have come into a silent agreement with him that you are not worth being truly treasured and appreciated.

     And don't think I've forgotten those lovely men who at first impression seem every bit as gentle and loving, only to show themselves as monsters a few months later. The same notion of getting smart applies here. Unless the man is willing to sincerely change, don't get caught in a dumb cycle of a trap.

     But I implore you, oh my smart sisters. Don't be the girl that has to have a man on her arm to feel complete. And don't loose yourself to the misplaced identity of another. You'll soon learn to regret it.

     If you lack an understanding of your worth, chances are someone will either want to define it for you in either good or bad ways.

     With that said, get to know who you are first. Understand that you are beautiful, worthy, smart, desirable, and funny. Yes. You were and are all these things, even before Joe Schmoe came up and told you you were. But with the knowledge of your worth and true beauty, you'll be able to appreciate his observations with true humility and love, instead of feeding off of his words like crack cocaine, as if his words were your defining life source.

     And if we want to get a little deep here, begin to understand some of your actions and motives. Like why you do some of the things you do. Yes, you are a worthy catch, but believe me, you are far from perfect (I'm preaching to myself as well).

     With all that said, I implore you my sisters. Be smart. So if someone spits a dumb line at you, you won't fall for it hook, line, and sinker--

Wisdom's Knocking:

"Ain't it strange the way we're ignorant 
How we seek out bad advice 
How we jigger it and figure it 
Mistaking value for the price
And play a game with time and love 
Like pair of rolling dice..." 

-- "So Beautiful, So What", by Paul Simon

British Invasion Part III

     

     So when I started looking into the behind-the-scenes footage of "Doctor Who" stars, Matt Smith and Karen Gillan, I found such a sweet surprise.

     There was a slew of Comic-Con San Diego footage of the two co-stars. But for me, finding a couple of interviews they did together completely made my heart leap.

     You know how much I love Love. And how excited I get when there's true romance being expressed. Well these two folks, Matt and Karen, have some of the best chemistry I have ever seen. And to my disappointment they were not dating. In fact, they both still have significant others. Whyyyy.

     Seeing those two laugh and chat together was like a double whammy for me. Not only did they carry the British swag, but they had a stellar shared sense of humor. And yes, they're both beautiful. But when they're around one another, they become even more beautiful. Yes. Cheesy I know. I can't help myself. But they are true of the cliche, that they bring out the best in one another. Truly complimentary.

    And it got me thinking. "Yes. That's what I want. That's what I've been wanting all along."

    I know what you're thinking Does my future boo have to have an accent, dress well, and be a superstar? Not necessarily. But it wouldn't hurt him one bit. But for me, the deal-breaker has always been a shared sense of humor. And going down the line... Someone who is strong, not afraid to smile--even when pictures aren't being taken. Someone who is intentional and brave. Considerate and kind. And someone who is intelligent enough to asks questions, but not bullheaded enough to think they know all the answers. In one word: Humble.

     And that brings me back to Andrew Garfield and my other British love, Andrew-Lee Potts. Last year around this time, I happened to catch the SyFy's channel, "Alice". A modern day take on the "Alice in Wonderland" story. Andrew-Lee played the Mad Hatter and did a brilliant job. His Mad Hatter was fierce, selfish, eccentric and at the same time, somehow believably vulnerable. Beyond the "Alice" credit, Andrew-Lee was also in the HBO mini-series "Band of Brothers".

     I was recently re-introduced to Andrew-Lee again this year through the BBC show, "Primeval". And I thought to myself, "Yep. He's a keeper."

     But more to come on why, he's been labeled as such in my mind.

     Mostly, I would love to be "Best Mates" as the Brits would say, or "Best Friends" with my future boo. And if he happens to carry that British Swag. More power to him.




Wisdom's Knocking:

Write the vision down and make it plain.



British Invasion Part II

   


     If you've followed a few of my posts in the last few months, you've probably noticed a couple of "Doctor Who" related posts. "Doctor Who" is a British show that's been airing on the BBC since 1963. The premise revolves around "The Doctor" who looks human, but is actually a Time Lord alien with 2 hearts. He is able to do what his name suggests, travel throughout space and time and he also takes along a few lucky "Companions" to travel the galaxies with him. Many times "The Doctor" is saving earth and human beings from absolute destruction. Other times it's a battle across the galaxies.

     The story lines in "Doctor Who" are so much fun. Especially when "The Doctor" is going back to historical events that we all would know (i.e. World War 1, Pompeii, etc.). Another fun fact about "The Doctor" is that he is able to regenerate. Meaning, if he sustains severe illness or injury, he could undergo a complete physical change. A new body. And of course that works well for  a TV show. You can always make it fresh every few years with a new actor to play "The Doctor". And that's exactly what the show has done since 1963. Matt Smith, the actor who currently plays the title role, is the 11th Doctor.

     With "Doctor Who" you can literally jump in the show at almost any episode and get caught up to how it all works. But beware, you may get sucked in. Steven Moffat, the current lead writer for the show, is a mad genius. I truly think he's one of the absolute best Sci-Fi Television show writers out there. And the fact that a writer can constantly play with space and time, can often make your brain hurt with these stories over the span of entire season.

     Oh my goodness. I just remembered that I also had a dream of Matt Smith last night. Weird. He already knew my name and was walking my friend and I to the front row of this event. Oddly enough, he was the star of the event.

     Okay. I'm back.

     But there's just something about "The Doctor" that gets my heart every time. I'm emotionally pulled in. And each actor that plays The Doctor has this thing about them. I don't know how to completely describe it. But it's this thing transfers into their portrayal of The Doctor. Mostly, you just want to hang out with these folks.

     So, you know me, I'm always interested in the Behind-the-Scenes. I mean, aren't you? And so, I happen to catch some (And by catch, I mean, I implored serious detective work) great behind the scenes footage of the actor who plays the current Doctor--Matt Smith.

    And what I found completely changed my life...


Wisdom's Knocking:

Curiosity is just the beginning.