So do labels in love matter to you? Whether being called boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, fiance, etc.?
I've learned that some people have elevated beyond such titles, and I'm truly fascinated. And by fascinated, I mean confused.
I know that we can go down the philosophy of semantics ("The branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning" -- or as I like to say in layman's terms, the meaning of words), but I don't think I'm that smart yet, and I'm already feeling sleepy just thinking about it.
But for me labels do hold meaning, especially in relationships. Naming and defining something, is like taking pride in something, like being proud to associate yourself with something or someone specific. It differentiates your role and place in my life, amidst the other billions of people on this planet whom I may or may not ever come in contact with. I'll say that again. A label or a title differentiates--makes known publicly, your special role and place in my life, amidst the other people in my life, which is unlike (and purposefully so) any other relationship and friendship I have.
Labels and titles are powerful.
And yes, we are keenly aware of the negative effects of labels and how one might feel boxed in and even overwhelmed. But that's not my concentration right now. I'm strictly looking at the beauty and freedom of having a safe haven and a platform to express love and relationship within the landscape of a well-thought out label. And for women, to feel safe, does our hearts good. And for men, to be given something of value to protect is powerful.
I've also observed the similarities of a label to our own personal names.
And sure, I know that there are other Patrice's out there in the planet. And yes, I do get a little jealous when I hear someone else has my name. It's because, my name has been marked out for me, it carries legacy in this intangible away. It's how I know that someone is talking to me in a conversation, that someone is directing their efforts and love toward me--specifically.
Therefore, if you simply called out to me, "Hey you--girl. Yeah, you, person." I'd somehow feel demeaned, because you didn't call me by my name - which is something specific and has meaning to me, to my heart, to my lineage, to my stories.
My stories are connected to my name and I'm reminded of that every time someone says "Patrice". I'm affirmed, I'm seen, and recognized.
In matters of love, I'm of the camp that believes titles are necessary in romantic relationships, for the benefit of the man and woman.
Life is messy, as we all know, but its interesting to me that in midst, we are able to roam free in love, feel freedom and safety while actually being aware of our boundaries (And standards) not because of the lack of them.
"We [Men] love you, but how we demonstrate that love is what I call the
Three Ps of love: We profess, we provide and we protect.
That is how a man — if he loves you — this is how you can tell he loves you: He provides for you. Whatever his economic structure is, he provides for you and he will give you whatever he can.
He will profess. If you have been dating a guy for six months, he has a title for you. If after six months, he is still calling you a friend, he has no plans for you. It doesn’t take us six months to figure out if you are the one. We are just not that difficult. We are simple people.
The last P is protect. He will let nothing happen to you within his means. A man loves in threes, if he tells you he loves you, but he doesn’t protect or provide for you, he is just telling you what you want to hear to get what he wants. He doesn’t really love you."
Credits: Google Dictionary