The Lingering Crush


     For once, I'm not in that frantic mindset, where you keep replaying fake scenes in your mind of having a conversation with the person you have a crush on, and somehow in this made-up scenario, that deep soul satisfying conversation quickly turns into a sweet embrace and then possibly the best kiss you may have ever had in your entire life. But then you pull yourself out of this ridiculous daydream, not simply from a deep sense of conviction and a need for repentance, but because said person happens to be standing in front of you asking a question.

     Crushes are exhausting.

     I mean, why do they feel like they suck the life out of you.

     I'm convinced because its like a romance mind game of chess. You keep trying to predict your opponents every move and your necessary or probable counter moves. Of which, you never get to use a majority of your moves, because progress between you and said crush either never really escalate or they are actually making basketball plays and you realize you've been prepping for the wrong game all along.

     I know. No one prepared you for crushes.

     And no one tells us that those suckers don't go away easily.

     I mean, it may have taken a hot second for you to fall head over heels for this person, but by goodness their memory is forever imprinted on your mind.

     But this year, I want you to be open to love like you've never been open before.

     I felt it important to write to those of you that have had a lingering person of comparison on your mind. The one who has become the romantic standard in your life.

     Now look, I'm all about standards and knowing your worth. But when a standard prevents you from moving forward, chances are it's not just a standard, but has become a comfortable place of fear.

     What do I mean by a comfortable place of fear?

     Well as long as no one looks like or acts exactly like your former crush, you feel no need to open your heart or move forward in love. You stand still. Or as I like to see it, you stay stuck.

     I've said this many times, but often romantic love surprises us and doesn't always look like we previously imagined. Now that doesn't mean that your boo is going to look hideous or that you two won't have essential things in common, it simply means, you just might be pleasantly surprised who you open up your life to.

     So be open.

     And don't let the woulda been, coulda been, shoulda been story continue to play in your mind. Let go, and get ready to receive afresh.

Wisdom's Knocking:

“One can begin so many things with a new person! - even begin to be a better man.” 

 ― George Eliot, Middlemarch