No Love For the Aunties. And I'm a Liar.

     

     Why do I always do this to myself. Every Christmas. But honestly, this year, I was much better. I started 5 days before Christmas this year instead of 2 days before to tackle the masses (A.K.A. "The Battlefield) Christmas shopping.

     I cannot tell you how many people I've elbowed in the last few days. Ok. That might be a slight exaggeration...Or it might not be.

     And though the Crazies are acting like straight up zombies--wait. Is there a difference between Crazies and Zombies? As I was saying, even though it's been a mad house, I've been on fire with my shopping skills--Picking the right check-out lanes (Not the lane where the cash register breakdowns, or someone forgot to grab the item with an actual price tag on it, etc, etc.), getting crazy discounts, and finding heartfelt greeting cards for my family members. But one family member almost got left out.

     I dare you to go to your local store and find a Christmas card for your Aunt. I mean, am I the only one out there that has an Aunt? Didn't think so. But I may be 1 of 5 people that actually sends their Aunt a Christmas card.

     I saw spaces for the "Uncles" everywhere. But when I looked for "Aunts"--Yeah, nowhere to be found. It took me 3 stores to find a card addressed specifically for an Auntie. I see how it is Hallmark. No love for the Aunties on Christmas? Aunties need love too.

     And secondly, I have a confession to make. I'm a liar.

     I visited one of my favorite stores during my Christmas shopping adventure. The store where people wear house shoes and pajamas and can eat fast food while possibly getting their nails done and cashing a check. Nonetheless, as ghetto as this place is, I still love it.

     So I was on the hunt for one of my last Christmas gifts. I had surgeon like concentration. And then--"Wait, wait--" says this 18 (mayyybe 19) year old boy to his Tupac looking friend.

     I could feel it coming.

     "Ehh. You gotta boyfrin" says the young light skinned black teenager directly to me. The Tupac look alike stands off to the side to give his boy some space. Uh-oh. This is serious.

     I was already facing him but I was unable to make true eye contact with him. Not because I was shy or fully embarrassed (Just partially), but because this fool was so high, he could barely keep his eyes open.

     Before I could answer him--"Whutch yo name?" He asks.

     And with precision diarrehea of the mouth, I blurted out, "Puh-trees" as ghetto as I could. In my mind, I was thinking, Why did you just say it like that dummy and WHY did you give him your real name--Agh!!

     "So you gotta boyfrin?" he persists.

     And here it comes.

      I deadlocked on his half faded eyes with an array of shoppers walking all around us and with full confidence and with no hesitation, I said:

     "Yes. Yes I do."

Wisdom's Knocking:

The truth is not always convenient.

The Everywhere

     

     You know when you start seeing a series of numbers everywhere you turn? For instance, every time you look at the clock it's either 4:11 or 12:12 or 4:44. You sense something magical is happening, but often times your not quite sure what it is. And you continue to follow the clues left along this curious trail.

     Well there's one month in the year that seems to sprinkle more magic on me than any of the other months of the year. It becomes a month of discovery and contemplation. And this December has been no different.

     These clues come in the form of dreams, words of encouragement from others, or specific images that happen to find their way to me.

     One of my all time favorite movies: Three Colors: Red (Which happens to be a French film), plays with this idea of clues and how connected we are to another, even worlds away in our own sphere of influences.

     You've read my blog post about my fascination with "Six degrees of Separation". And as this year comes to a close, I've been reawakened by my love for all things French. My memories of being in Paris are being highlighted to me in a very strong way. It's sort of been creeping up on me throughout this entire year. But why? And just when I think my Paris thoughts and clues were isolated to just my crazy mind, people begin to talk about Paris around me.

     So now, I'm just following the clues. My heart is expectant and curious.

     I love my Brits. All day. Please believe. But there is something about the French sensibility that I connect with in a strong way. I have, since my early teen years.

     And mostly, I'm wayyyy over the brooding men of Hollywood, the self-absorbed lifestyle of these would-be famous men, although they are quite beautiful and talented seem to often lack the freedom that an unpretentious life can bring.

     What I find most sexy in a man is generosity.

     Second to that, humor. Which, that trait in itself contains a strong sense of intellect of which I'm also drawn to.

     So who is my new celebrity crush?

     Benjamin Duterde.

     Otherwise known as: "Ben L'Oncle Soul"

     I'm drawn to people that have a contagious joy for life. And Ben seems to be no exception. Add in the mix that he's French, sings like Otis Redding, and wears a bow tie pretty much seals the deal.

     So for all those folks out there that couldn't picture me with a prototype male celebrity last week, let me help you out. Ha. Ben would be it. Hands down.

Note: And yes, this boo, is currently taken. This is info gathered per my internet stalkery. Nevertheless, I can appreciate Ben as my heart's desired prototype. Yes. I'm just puttin' it out there. Amen.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Rest assured, the random paint strokes will come together to form a brilliant masterpiece.

If You Could See Me With any Male Celebrity--Who Would It Be?

     

     Oh my word. I am crushing hard on a celebrity today. I'll fully disclose who it is in the next blog. And I'll break down why I have a crush on this certain individual. This new crush has mostly given me clues (and perhaps you as well) as to what I'm most attracted to.

     But I was having a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday, who said a line that I've been hearing for the past 10 years, if not a bit longer:

"I just don't know who is actually worthy enough for you." 

     Mind you, this was not in response to me downloading a list of my requirements and credentials for my future boo. In fact, my list is fairly simple. My dear friend's remarks were simply out of love for me as I chatted away about how excited I am to meet my future boo.

     And as much as I appreciate such an honorable statement from countless friends and family, regarding who could possibly be found worthy of me. It's a bit frustrating to hear year after year. I don't need the perfect boo. I just need my boo.

     So instead of you trying to hook me up with your friend's cousin's brother's uncle. I wanted to do a little fun experiment. This experiment will also give me a better idea of how you view me and who you think would be worthy of me according to the perceived character traits and appearance of your named celebrity. So with that said, why don't you tell me which celebrity you could or would see me with in a pretend world: Ready, set, go!

Wisdom's Knocking:

Writing goals and visions down are not only beneficial for the memory, 

but also an enforcer of hope.

Boy-friends, Girl-friends

     

     It's the most wonderful time of the year.

     But yet, it's also the time of the year when many people feel themselves falling into a tunnel of depression.

     You thought Valentine's Day hurt your heart? Try the constant reminder of love and magic all around you in the shape of snowflakes, peppermint mochas, and fireplaces. I mean, this all just screams romance to me, especially as a single person. Maybe I'm the only one. But this beautiful holiday season begs to be shared with the ones you love. Yes, family. The tried and true--whom in most cases will never leave you. But often times we are reaching for that other person. A romantic figure to set sail with to Paris, Denmark, Africa, Brazil, or New Zealand. Your choice.

     Nevertheless, you and I might be tempted to simply grab any John or Jane nearby. Or we might try and latch on to one of our trusted guy friends or lady friends as a quick fix and substitute for a substantial and meaningful romance, when you know in your gut it ain't gonna really last. You can't explain why you know this, but you just do.

     But certain men folk are looking too holiday cuddly to me. Yes. I said it. "Holiday Cuddly".  And I find myself wanting to throw caution to the wind.

     I know some of you just cheered right now. And the other half of you just cringed. I'm more on the cringing side when it comes to such lofty ideas. Or least in this particular scenario. There are certain things I know in my gut. You know what I'm talking about. That thing that tells you, "Please don't do this, you'll regret it later..." Some of you sense that, but choose to ignore it anyway. But I get urked if I try and live in that place of "I know better than this, but I'm gonna do stupid stuff anyway" for too long. I used to be able to live in that place for a majority of the year...then it became a few months....and then a few weeks, until now--Of which I can maybe pull it off for a few days and then I find myself weeping miserably.

     Remember my past blog post, "Mixed Signals = No Signal"? Let's also just remind ourselves how much more confusing and awkward we can make this holiday season by mixing in premature or selfish ambition towards someone who is close to us, but may not be on the same page with us romantically speaking. And I'm talking about those girl-boy friendships that have been established as such. Just friendship with a DTR (Define the Relationship), included. And ladies you know how I feel about girls trying to make the first move. DON'T.

     Yes, of course you can manipulate all the live long day in those girl-guy friendships to make them your holiday romantic filler. But at the end of the day, you'll have to work even harder to keep your sanity and the relationship. Which in the end, after the lust is gone, may not  have been worth it to begin with anyway.

     So today, I'm reminding myself of the things my heart truly wants. Not just what my body wants.

Wisdom's Knocking:

It's important to remind yourself of what your heart truly wants...for the long run.

The Russians and I

  Photo Credit: Ashley Johnson

   

     No I'm not a spy. At least I don't think I am.

     But I found it oddly peculiar that I got 12 distinct hits on my blog from Russia.

     I know what you're thinking. "Wow, Patrice, 12 hits? Yeah. It's time to call the Po-Po's". Shut it.

     My humble blog is only frequented by you and a few others on a regular basis. Therefore, I take pride in disclosing all my personal business, knowing that only 10 of you are out there reading this---until yesterday. I don't know if I want to be on the Russian radar. I'm just saying.

     But if you are from Russia and reading this. All I have to say is one thing:

     I love Russia.

Wisdom's Knocking:

Sometimes when you think you are hiding, your arm may actually be peeking out, unbeknownst to you.